Divorce

I don't like it.


It's usually means a failure, and I hate failing at things, what I'm more likely to do is give up on things and end something before they could ever reach that point. (I believe its called running away.)

both of my parents have parents that have divorced, my mom grew up with her mom and would go visit her father in the city.. I don't think they were very close and my mom didn't really like her dad's new wife.. (who I think was a nice lady or tried to be to my mom) she doesn't talk about it, I think even if I asked her she wouldn't talk about it.

she talks about my dad's parents divorce. I don't know why it didn't work for that one, but my grandmother took her kids and kept everyone away from them. I think to some degree its shaped the way my dad interacts with people, which is not really. He keeps a lot of people at a distance and does not share, what's on his mind. If someone pisses him off he cuts them out of his life or won't speak to them. He's got family that always calls to see how he's doing and he never really seems to respond back.


So it comes to my parents, you would think that having parents themselves who have gone through it they would be a little more understanding about their own marriage relationship.

I've always seen my parent fight, for the first 25 years they have always fought. and not about little things though that's what starts it off. About things like infidelity, lying, money, bills, talking to each other, raising kids (me in particular) . They've argues so much that my dads slept in the other room, then the basement, then somewhere else (cause my mom kicked him out). and every time they would make up, and there would be some major change. Like buying a new place, or a new sibling. It got to the point where I would come to expect that the two of them were going to fly apart at any moment. and that they would get a divorce, my moms talked about it often enough.

sometimes I still wait for it. That's why its surprises me that now they actually seem to like each other company. I see my mom smile at my dad more, and him in turn... maybe they just got old. or maybe they finally started talking to each other, or making compromises with each other, I don't know. but I hope it stays this way because I've never seen them this comfortable or happy with each other.


Only thing is my mom says I'm just like my dad.